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Jan Gajewski

Jan Gajewski

Light and time

Sep 17

Written By J. Gajewski

For my visually impaired friends, this whole post is a photo essay, so this will be difficult. First main photo, and series of photos, are black and whites of my mother. As a baby, as a child with a backpack, playing.

Here, a larger photo of my mother in her teens, with her mother, both of them elegantly dressed. Perhaps a Sunday. My mother's father was a professional photographer, constantly testing his camera, and here he always had the perfect subjects.

Here, black and white photos turn to color and my mother is photographed as a young woman now. . This main photo, she's on a beach, smiling into the sun, eyes focused into the future and her fingers twirling within the sand that she kneels in.

Here, motherhood. Shots of her mother as a new mom with her baby. In the main photo here, she's got one son, me, maybe 5 here, hugging her from behind her neck, and traipsed over her knee, is my brother, around 8. We look to the camera., smiling.

Massive collage of all of these photos, on the floor, scattered, photographed from above.

Photo of my mom's poem, on paper. It's called In my time and space. — Waking up by morning air / Waking up by ocean breeze / Gentle touch of a wind / So why the trees are standing still?
Why the trees are standing still? / Universal entity / Little breakfast on my plate / All I need is sanity
All I need is sanity / All I need is clarity / Lost in world’s variety / In my time and in my space
In my time and in my space / In my dress and in my shoes / Little breakfast on my plate / What am I doing here?
In my time and in my space?

Here, a photo of my mother, probably 50, smiling into the camera with Rocky in her arms, looking off and smiling also - mouth agape, tongue happy. Both of them are glowing.

A black and white of Mom walking Rocky through a forest of some kind. Beautiful nature and looking small against the huge trees.

Photo of a postcard from one of Mom's art shows. It shows Mom, smiling in front of her backdrop once made for the ballet. Splatters of paint and a 3D effect of translucence.

Following a section called "Marina Days," Mom on a kayak, Mom always smiling near the water, and with me there in some, then we have a series of playful self portraits. Mom photographing herself in the mirror with various elegant gloves and glasses.

Photo of mom seemingly posing for a picture with Robert Downey Junior. Her arms folded and looking over at him, with love in her eyes. looking lovingly. This was at the Hollywood Wax Museum.

A poem, on paper as well as transcribed by me on the side. He Was Amazed are the first lines. — He was amazeed

A mirror / holding a mirror / when she was slowly combing her hair / Then she was putting on mascara / he was still amazed / She wasn’t looking / any way special / wearing glasses / and overweight / but he was still smiling / Because he saw / something in her.

Mom's poem, called What my name is. — What my name is

What my real name is
I don’t know
All I know is how tall
And the color of my eyes
Some day I will evolve out of chaos
To a more simple paradise
They will never ask me there
What my name was
Not even curious about my gender
Or if I qualify
I just put my heart on my sleeve
And they will stamp it — with a smile
So don’t ask me too much where I came from
Maybe I am just on my way to find out
We are in a land where names blend or fall out
Am I just a newcomer in this country
Do I care about this land?
Yes, I have a love of this vast land, and
That to me is more clear and more important than my name

And here we finish the photo essay with a series of pictures of Mom, photographed from a distance, from a cliff. She's down below, on the rocks, completely drenched, looking back up to the camera with the brilliant blue water and sea foam behind her.

And in these last two pictures, she's photographed swimming in the ocean, the first shot of her looking back up to the camera as she takes a break from swimming, and the second photo is her mirage, her face unfocused, swimming.

Good is quiet

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